Thursday, August 13, 2009

More Trials=More Blessings

Sick again but for His gain!
I've always had issues with dizziness and weakness but its gotten worse not just oh im thin and dizzy. for awhile there I was passing out everyday, its slowed to an average of once a week. But falling alot, just crashing to the floor most every day several times a day.
some headaches, not bad. Numbness, weakness, increased joint and muscle pain.
head ticks and leg and arm spasms, sometimes flipping me over. I've woken up at night several times not breathing with a racing heartbeat. Now I have weird heart rates during the day as well.

Just had an MRI and need a second overnight EEG to confirm no seizure activity.

Cardiologist soon, I haven't met her yet can't wait too, she is taking me seriously and had a nurse call me super concerned to see how I was and if I would be ok waiting till my appt. and that they could get me in ASAP if need be to whatever dr was open. so that was intersting

But I am having to rely on Him for every step again which is definitely a blessing, somehow playing volleyball.

It was neat in practice today I was super sick from the meds to control my ticks for the MRI, on top of having a really bad and sick week. But God gave me nearly a half our to really play my best and feel decent. it was so nice. I hardly noticed until coach went "are you feeling better?" lol

Just wanted to update everyone this was entirely informational and not entirely upbeat, those'll come later just wanted to post this.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Counting Blessings

Just counting my blessings!

I've gone from:
9 Drs to 2
7 medications to 0
11 tests and stop counting

I never want to take for granted:
-that I can go to bed and know I won't be up sick until 2am
-eating with no pain
-not living in chronic pain
-rolling over in bed without my body screaming at me
-walking around. its the best feeling to just know I can get from a to b easily.
-not having to live by "we'll see what I can do today. I may have to miss this or that"
-being able to have a job.
-being able to concentrate

"You are the LORD
the Famous One, FAMOUS ONE!
Great is Your Name in ALL THE EARTH
The Heavens declare, You're Glorious, GLORIOUS!"

We take so much for granted. Life isn't always going to be easy, isn't always going to be confortable. But finding ways to have joy and contentment makes hard times SUCH a blessing! I mean they are so amazing. I always want to rely on Him, even now that I am healed of many of my diseases. Because frankly I miss having to rely on Him for every step I took, literally.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Healing Count: #5

He's just continuing to bless me!

I have left lumbar scoliosis, but have been having more severe lower back pain than expected. I was going to have an MRI soon to check for cysts on my spinal chords, twisted spinal chords, and or stinosis.

I first noticed some relief on the night of my first healing.

And this week all week I have been noticing less. and less. and less! pain. And it keeps going where I'm not having that awful constant pain. I really realized and recieved it yesterday when I disocovered that I could bend down all the way to my toes-something I haven't been able to do in at least two years!

I was serving overhand with a volleyball and didn't get that horrible pain. Serving that way made me want to cry it hurt so bad, but now it doesn't.

I still have some general pain from my scoliosis but it is much much much less! I was even diving for balls and jumping right back up as opposed to needing a few seconds to let the pain subside then struggle to my feet.

Mornings were also bad, I'd really have to get up slowly as it hurt so much. Now I just get right up!

Praise be to the Lamb, Holy Holy is He.

"Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what He has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life." Ecclesiastes 7:13,14

This describes everything. I am trusting Him to straighten and untwist my spine if it is His will! for HE alone can make straight what is crooked!

If not, I will pray that He will use it to make me a stronger person. I am just so thankful to have such a drastic reduce in my pain!

In Him,

Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Testimony

Hey all! I am new to this site, though I have blogged in the past and enjoyed it immensely.

My reason for starting this up was to share what my God has done for me over the past ten years of my life, especially in what He has done these past few weeks!

I'll keep it to the condensed version since the long one would take hours to write!

I have been sick for the past six years, and it has only worsened in the past few, especially in the past four months. It started out with asthma, some abdominal pain etc. I was told it could be my heart, but that feel through and I was sent to a Diagnostic specialist who ran several tests and told me I had GERD. When the acid blocker, which is a bad thing to be on since it radically reduces the amount of acid releases and can cause bone degeneration, didn't solve a lot of the problems she sent me to a GI specialist. He did an EGD, or upper GI endoscopy, and said I looked good. Yet I was still having trouble swallowing, and the pain was getting worse.

Things really got the the point where I just couldn't live life around Christmas when I was hit with more pain than I could ever imagine Christmas Eve. It was really crazy because we couldn't even get to the hospital the roads were so icy. I had had some tests prescheduled for the next morning on pretty much every small GI organ imaginable, so we went in for that. And yet again they told us everything was normal. I did alright for the next few weeks, before becoming really very sick. I couldn't do full days of school, eat well, or even do extra things due to the intense chronic fatigue. It was really rough to not be involved in anything, I love riding more than anything else and I didn't even have the energy to get out to the barn. I would just be up dry heaving and throwing up until as late as two oclock in the morning every night for weeks. My doctor finally admitted me to the hospital, where I was given IV fluids and an NG tube (feeding tube down the nose into the stomach) to give me the medicine for the colonoscopy since I was too sick to drink it. It was painful and irritating, but God was with me that whole night, and what should have been the most miserable night was just not at all! He is so faithful. He even orchestrated the whole admittance process, because there was a twenty hour wait for a bed, and several opened up in less than three hours!

After they sent me home I continued taking the new pain medications as well as medicine to stimulate my appetite, since I'd lost around ten pounds in a few weeks. and since I'm only in the 3% range for my weight, they needed to keep me eating. (I also had a new and unsatisfactory catch all diagnosis of IBS, which in my case meant that my colon spazzed out when food entered it.) But the medicine made me so weak I could hardly walk after just a few hours in school and concentrating was impossible. I still cannot believe how faithful He was! I never felt angry or overly frustrated or like I wanted to give up, it was just all okay with me. I love this verse:

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works beset in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weakness, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10.

I was not strong enough to fight it, I needed Him to do it and somehow He got me through each days, even with joy in order that I might enjoy the pleasures of life in it all. It is so important to keep smiling, and to keep that joy. Happiness and joy are very seperate, happiness is walking around with a big old grin plastered on your face without really having the well of joy inside, which doens't mean you will always be smiling and cheerful but any circumstance can be "well with your soul".

My life verse is James 1:2-6
"My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. "

Then last Tuesday, April 7, 2009 at 4 am, my Lord met with me not in an emotional worship time or when I was up sick, but in the stillness of the night. I woke up to something I hadn't felt in years: no pain. my RLQ and LLQ (right and left lower quadrants) had been in costant, bad pain for the past two months especially, without any let up and that was gone. I had heartburn if I had anything from water to solids, that was gone. I woke up my parents as you can imagine! I also stopped my medications that very morning, including my inhalers hoping that God would also choose to touch my asthma. Which He did EXACTLY one week later this past Tuesday at 4:30 am! When I had my healings, Satan tried to rob me of them and I had pain both Wednesdays after each healing, but God prevailed and I am in His healing. He sent me the most amazing sense of peace and joy that it was sobering the next day after my first healing in the form of three great waves of warmth! I cannot believe that He chose to visit little old me in such a way!

He called me to missions as a young kid, and this whole time I've been wondering how He was going to work out ministry with my illness. I guess He answered that one!

I feel terrific, I can eat again and can hold my breath for long periods of time, as opposed to maybe ten seconds before, I lvoe to sing and that is so much easier! It was so exciting to wake up and take deep breaths without the chronic wheeze that plauged me every time I tried to. My vocal chord dysfunction is also gone on this second Tuesday healing. VCD occurs in GERD and asthma patients often because the voice box becomes strained and unable to relax due to the acid always sitting in it.

I mean I just had pizza loaded with pepporoni and don't have the slightest hit of heartburn or nausea! I had no clue just how sick I was, it was normal for me. I also have no idea why He chose to heal me! That the God of the Universe, Who's hands carved out the ocean, would chose to carve out all my diseases. I will never know what I had, all I know is that all of my intense muscle, abdomen, under the rib pain, and breathing difficulties are gone.

God is a good God. And out of any situation He can be glorified. Just by staying positive and trusting Him brings Him glory for He is then free to work in any life! I am so glad He let me be that sick, because when you are you have to trust Him. There is just nothing else you can do, nobody else to turn to. I am insanely greatful for it because I grew so much closer to Him than I would have otherwise. He also opened up several oppurtunities to witness in the hospital, and I am stoked to tell my doctor's what God has done for me! God has even touched the life of an atheist I know. When I was sick (I just love saying that) she told me that she would pray to my God on my behalf, which really touched my heart.

I really felt that I was just supposed to enjoy the ride and let Him work through the circumstance, and I am just in awe of Him. I definately feel incredibly blessed, even if He had chosen to not heal me the entire thing is a blessing.

I am now waiting and trusting in Him to continue to heal me! I have left lumbar scoliosis and need an MRI to see if my organs are shifted badly enough for me to need fusion surgery. I have a lot of pain and may have cysts or twisted spinal chords, but I know He can touch this as well if it is His will! Your prayers would be amazing :]

Thanks for reading, I do not want Him to have anything but all the glory He can in what He has done!

May the joy of the Lord be your strength,